Tips for Mothers of toddlers
and preschoolers
by Cynthia Spell Humbert
 Be
tender with your children. Children are a blessing from the Lord and
childhood is a short time in life. A child has a set personality by
the time they are six-years-old. Spend quality time with your children,
reading and singing to them and playing with them. - Give generous physical
contact. Hug and kiss your child several times a day. Rock your child
each night as part of the bedtime routine.
- Maintain a Routine. Be
consistent with the rules. Decide on your form of discipline and stick
with it. You are the boss, but remember to choose your battles carefully.
As much as possible keep a routine for eating, napping, bath and bedtime.
This teaches children discipline as they grow.
- Prepare your child for
what you expect in their behavior. Before entering a church, store,
etc., talk with your child about how you want them to act. Be specific
with what is not acceptable and what you desire in their behavior,
so they have a plan in advance.
- Keep it simple. Don't
talk to your children like they are small adults. They are not. Be
simple in your requests and expectations. This is especially true
with a first-born child. We seem to have very high requirements for
them and push them to grow -up too soon. Let them enjoy childhood.
- Allow your children to
make mistakes and receive grace. If they spill milk, say, "Oops,"
and get them to help you clean it up.
- Remember you are the
model. In their eyes, you are the god figure. You are the one who
meets all their needs. They cannot survive without you. If you want
calm children, you must model calmness. They will mimic your behavior
and words whether they are good or harmful.
- Make God a part of daily
life. Children develop their view of God by the way their parents
treat them. If you are kind and gracious, they develop a view of a
loving God. If you are critical and perfectionistic, so id their God.
If you are angry with them all the time, God becomes someone they
can never please.
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Tips
for Mothers of elementry-aged children
by Julie Ann Barnhill
- Take back your brain!
It's around your house somewhere, really! Consider the books you read,
the television you watch, the magazines or online boards you visit
. . and ask, "Are these things strengthening my love and commitment
to my children or perhaps chipping away at that love?"
- When frustrated and sensing
the rising emotions of anger . . .go "slow and soft." Consciously
lower the tone of your voice and slow down the rate of your speaking.
It's much more difficult to "blow it" in anger if you're
doing these two things..
- Memorize and repeat often,
"This too shall pass."
- Immediately follow up
that sane momma mantra with this question, "In the light of eternity,
does this really matter?" So often what we're angry or frustrated
with about our elementary age children . . .just isn't that big of
a deal.
- Once you've recognized
those "just aren't that important" matters you can repeat,
"Let it go." And do just that. Let go the things you can
not control. Let go expectations that are ridiculous or overwhelming
to you and your child.
- Cultivate humor in your
home!!! Learn to laugh. Rent Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
and enjoy. Laugh ESPECIALLY when your adult pride wants to do anything
but! : )
- Hold your child's face
in your hands, look deep into their eyes and say, "I love you
just the way you are." Do this at least twice a week so the reality
of that mothering truth sinks deep into both your hearts.
- Speak truth--Bible verses.
Psalm 127:3, "Children are a reward from Him."
Ephesians 4:26, "Be angry and sin not!"
Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who gives
me strength."
Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden,
and I will give you rest."
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Tips
for Mothers of preteens
by Vicki Caruana
- Keep the outside activity
level to a minimum. More time at home with you is worth more than
time away.
- Continue to read to your
children every night. Now is the time for long chapter books!
- Be willing to be the
house where everyone plays. That way you know your children are safe
and you'll get to know their friends better.
- Monitor your child's
homework. They need organizational skills. Now is not the time to
back off.
- Help your children build
relationships with extended family. Letter writing, phone calls, emails
are the key.
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Tips
for Mothers of Teens
by Pamela Christian
Pamela Christian Copyright 2002
- First, remember that
a better term and definition is "TWEEN-agers."
Our beloved teens are emotionally, mentally and experientially between
grade-school children and young adults and they are painfully experiencing
every aspect of it.
- Don't
expect consistency. As TWEEN-agers they will have both the need to
cling and the need to be loosed. Expect to experience either extreme
at any given time.
- Treat each teen as the
unique, valued individual they are. Help them identify their own strengths
and weaknesses and express your appreciation for them just as they
are; with all the potential of becoming more and ever growing, learning,
and improving.
- Encourage them to explore
their personal interests in life: sports, academics, business, history,
culture, arts, music, and more. Help them discover and appreciate
their own unique identity and contributions that they can make to
society. Help them develop their own personal dignity.
- Remember that you are
and always will be an authority figure in their life. Your role is
to help them grow to learn to become responsible, integris, honorable
adults, not to shelter them and/or do "everything" for them.
Give them greater responsibilities and greater privileges as they
prove themselves capable, responsible and accountable. Conversely,
without wavering, remove privileges whenever they clearly prove themselves
to be irresponsible. It's a life lesson and work-ethic that is being
instilled - not to mention a reinforcement of your caring, authority.
- Discuss with your Teens
everything they need to know. Begin seeing them as the individuals
they are, rather than as your children. They need to know not only
about sex, but about honoring, respecting and esteeming others; the
value of life and property; about owning and upholding their Christian
faith; and more.
- Instill in your Teens
that they are becoming more and more personally responsible, liable
and accountable and allow them to experience the consequences of their
choices. Identify boundaries, expectations and standards repeatedly
and clearly. Remember they are like "toddlers with intelligence."
They are "me focused" striving for independence, but as
teens, they have greater knowledge than a toddler. Make no mistake,
this is a dangerous combination.
- Try to think ahead of
them whenever they ask for anything. Even if your child has NEVER
given you one moment's grief, there is always the peer pressure that
WILL influence them. You can't know all their friends, but you can
know human nature. Anticipate the "down-side" of whatever
request they make and know that it may happen.
- Resolutely and regularly
make times to be with them alone, doing what they like, giving them
one-on-one attention. Lavish them with your love, for it won't be
long and they'll be on their own. If you've done it "right"
they'll want to come home, visit and stay close with you all the rest
of their lives - regardless of where their life may take them.
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Tips
for Mothers of Adult Children and Grandmothers
By Shirley Henderson
Tips for Mothers of Adult
Children
- When addressing my adult
children, I have learned that affirmation is
what they need. Adult children rarely want to be told what to do,
or how to
handle circumstances that arise in their lives.
- I often remind them that
they are unique and special in God's sight.
- When difficult times
come, I remind them that this too will pass. I tell
them that God loves them very much, that He is not mad at them, but
is using
their trials for a higher purpose.
- It's okay to cry with
your children, and it's always okay to pray with
them.
- Sometimes I ask them:
How are you doing with God lately?
- I remind them to always
put their trust in God and to pray as often as
they can.
- Always a mother . . .
I remind them to be safe and take necessary
precautions.
- I remind them to guard
their hearts with all diligence and to be careful
of what they fill their minds with on a daily basis including, television,
books, etc.
- I am always mindful to
tell them that I love them, and that God loves
them too. Everybody needs to hear they are loved!
- I still remember to make
their birthdays a special event with phone
calls, cards, gifts, etc.
Tips for Grandmothers
- First and foremost, I
tell them how much God loves them and of the
incredible sacrifice Jesus made for them.
- I teach them the value
of purity and self-respect, and stress the
importance of daily Bible reading. I remind them that God's Word is
our map
for living righteous lives.
- Since I have a passion
for music, I give them private lessons in voice
and piano and teach them the importance of praise and worship to God.
-
I teach them how to cook and welcome them into my kitchen as we make
delicious meals together.
-
I spend quality time with each of them that includes shopping, dining
out
and going to movies together.
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